Did you forget about me? It’s been a while since I’ve posted on here.
… Like, quite a while… oops!
Life is a perfect mixture of crazy wild and crazy boring at the same time for me right now. A lot is changing, but the future is looking bright none the less. I’m currently in one of those in-between transitional phases of life that’s making me feel all sorts of nostalgic and confused… you know the feeling, right? So before we talk about the future, let’s first get on the same page and talk about where I’ve been.
-> Grew up in Saskatchewan (Canada)
ate a lot of potatoes, was either “too hot” or “too cold” at all times
-> Attended College in Alberta (Canada)
wore high waisted patterned leggings as pants for 4 years straight
-> Lived in Vancouver (Canada) for one and 1/2 years
learned how to avoid eye contact with strangers at all costs
-> Traveled Australia / SE Asia for one and 1/2 years
discovered that peanut butter and carrots are the perfect combination, poked a lot of jellyfish
-> Lived in Saskatchewan for 4 months
took photos of grass, cried in my car
-> Lived in Vancouver for 1 year
had an existential crisis for 365 days straight, talked to/about the neighbourhood geese way more than is socially acceptable
-> Present Moment
Alright! So the present moment is upon us! Currently I am back in Saskatchewan spending some time with family, doing a whole lot of yoga, eating entire jars of my Grandmas homemade pickles in one sitting, and watching an obscene amount of crime television shows. Life is pretty great.
Oh, and I’m preparing to leave for Mexico City in a few days! Yowza!
The entire time that I’ve been back in Canada after traveling Australia and Asia has been a bit of a whirlwind of emotions for me, to say the least. In the age of social media, it seems that we’re all very quick to share the great parts of travel, but no one really talks about how isolating, confusing, and downright depressing it can be to return home after a long time spent abroad. The whole time I’ve been back in Canada I have been longing to travel, but lacking the energy and motivation (and money, let’s be honest) that traveling requires. 2018 was a serious rebuilding year for me, and now towards the end of the year, I finally feel clear headed, energised, strong, and ready to tackle traveling again.
Ahh! I can’t believe it’s happening.
I’m a little concerned with how abrupt this transition will be from the cocoon I’ve been living in Vancouver and then at my parents house straight into the chaos of Mexico City, but I’m just trying to remain calm and positive and remind myself of how adaptable, smart, and capable I am. Everything is going to be just fiiiiiiiine… right? Right???
Everyone asks, but no- I don’t know where I’m headed, I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, I don’t know anyone there, I don’t speak Spanish, I don’t have a plan, and I don’t care to have one, either. I’m just living life, one day at a time, and it feel’s pretty damn good.
Oh yeah, did I mention I’m going alone? Double yowza. (Do people still say that? Whatever.)
Does it seem like I’m calm and collected about this? I guess I kind of am, but there’s also a big part of me that’s freaking out, too. There’s so much that is unknown, and the thought of throwing myself into a foreign culture all alone is pretty terrifying at times, so I honestly just try not to think about it. I guess you could say that ignoring my worries is my current coping mechanism, and so far it’s going pretty well!
Will I be incredibly lonely at times? Will I get lost? Will I get cheated? Will I be uncomfortable? (yes, yes, yes, and yes). But then I just think… Am I safe? Am I capable? Am I going to be fine? Am I going to pull through? Am I going to grow? Is the risk worth the reward? (yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes).
Yes, it’s pretty scary to throw yourself into unknown situations sometimes, but what is my other alternative… to sit at home in a bubble? To live a life of nothing but comfort and stability, but at the expense of what? Of enjoying my life? Sometimes I just have to say to myself “fuck it”, and go for it, you know? Thats how all the best decisions in my life have been made so far anyways. I just throw myself in and trust that everything will be fine. (It will)
So yeah! Mexico! I am so ready to shove my face with literally ALL the Mexican food, take pictures of pretty doorways, sleep in tiny hostel bunk beds, smile at other peoples children, and people watch my days away. It’s going to be great. My parents and grandparents are convinced that I am going to die down there. I am convinced that I will not. Currently the future is unclear, but I am incredibly excited either way.
So friends, wish me luck! And if I don’t come back, please throw a party, eat a taco, and drink a mezcal margarita in my memory 😉
Chao for now!