my body is changing, and it’s okay

Thoughts / Travel

Hola mi amigas! Since we’re such good friends and all, I wanted to share something that I haven’t spoken about much before- online or with friends. You ready?

The last time I went traveling for 1 and 1/2 years, I gained 20 pounds.

At the time I didn’t really realize. I knew my body had changed and I felt a little weird about it, but I wasn’t sure exactly how much until I returned home and literally NONE of my clothes fit me anymore… So what did I do? I bought new pants, and continued on with my life. Then, while I was living back home over the next year, I lost 20 pounds, so… I bought new pants, and continued on with my life.

Now that I’ve been traveling Mexico for roughly 6 weeks, I can notice my body changing all over again. My cheeks are a little rounder, my hips are a little wider, and my bra’s are doing their best to keep up with it all (Thank you, thank you, thank you to my bra’s – You’re my most loyal friends. I love you).

Are you wondering why I’ve never spoken about this weight fluctuation before? Because it doesn’t fucking matter, that’s why. The reason I don’t talk about my weight is the same reason that I don’t talk about the colour of my eyes, or the size of my shoes, or the length of my hair; because it’s completely irrelevant to my quality of life and overall happiness. 

Another funny thing about weight (and most everything else), is that other people are way too obsessed with their own to ever worry about yours. You might think that everyone will notice and ask you about the changes you see in your body, but I’m here to tell you- they wont.

When my body changed the first time, no one even noticed! Not one person noticed when I gained the weight, and no one noticed when I lost it, either. I don’t remember anyone saying anything to me about it the entire time, and if I ever brought it up, people seemed shocked and surprised.

Did my friends still love me just the same when I returned home from traveling, 20 pounds heavier? No, they loved me more, because I was smarter, funnier, more confident, more cultured, and just an all around happier person because of my experiences abroad.

Did the extra weight mean I had a lack of boys wanting to make out with me? Hell no. Any boy who see’s me naked should count himself BLESSED no matter how much I weigh, and they know it, too. 

Here’s a little secret for you my friends- people are attracted to confidence in yourself and vitality inside of your soul, not pant size. Here’s another secret- you don’t need validation from anyone. You are already a perfect, beautiful, angel, and your weight does not define you.

It never has and it never will.

That being said, I’m still just a regular person, and sometimes I feel a little weird about my body changing, so something I like to ask myself when I notice these changes is “why did I decided to travel in the first place?”

Did I go traveling so that I could be skinny and photogenic and have shinny hair and perfect skin and an Instagram feed full of selfies? No! I’m a regular human being. I went traveling so that I could make friends, enjoy my life, experience the culture, learn the language, eat the food! drink the drinks!! kiss the boys!!! dance the dances!!!! And now please tell me, how the hell am I supposed to do all of that while I also worry about my weight? I’m too busy living my life and having fun to worry about something so pointless and insignificant as a few extra pounds.

Life is too beautiful a thing to miss out on by stressing over the small stuff.

Yes, mezcal and lack of sleep and fried corn in all it’s forms can help to add a few pounds to the body, but that’s kind of the point of being in Mexico, no? How boring would it be if I never tried the local food, never drank the drinks, never ate tacos at 7am after a long night of dancing, and if I got 9 hours of sleep every night? Let me tell you… I did not come to Mexico to get 9 hours of sleep a night, okay?

Alright, alright, so that’s all fine any everything, but before you (Mom) think anything crazy, let’s get one thing straight here- when I talk about not caring, it’s about my weight, not my health. 

My health is always and forever my number one priority.

My body and I- we are besties- and I plan to take care of, treasure, and respect it, just like my body loves, respects, and takes care of me

I’m still eating a ton of vegetables, I’m still drinking water, I’m still doing yoga, I’m still meditating, I’m still sleeping, I’m still listening to my body and giving it what it needs.

The thing about health is this – it has just as much to do with what you put in your mind as what you put in your body. Mental health is obviously extremely important, and at least for me, I would rather eat the chilaquiles and drink the margarita every now and again than stress about exactly what it’s doing to my body. What do you think is worse for you, an extra 7 pounds, or a lifetime of stress?

So yeah, my body is changing, and it really, truly, does not matter. In fact, MY ENTIRE LIFE IS CHANGING. Everything is different; my whole life is expanding, the world is opening up to me.

It’s called growth- the best way to measure if something is alive.

My body is changing, and it’s okay.

The Author

tree hugger // star gazer // girl with the dance moves